The 100 Percent test

I guess I am getting old. I scored almost a 100% on this test. Good Luck!!
Here's a little quiz to see how much you remember about some less-than-important things from a few decades back. It's just for fun, no scoring involved. Even the wrong answers may bring back a memory or two. Have Fun (but no peeking!).


1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil


2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry
D. Rudolph Valentino
E. Fabian
F. Mickey Mantle
G. Cassius Clay


3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and...
A. It's you
B. He is us
C. It's the Grinch
D. He wasn't home
E. He's really mean
F. We quit
G. He surrendered


4. Good night, David.
A. Good night, Chet
B. Sleep well
C. Good Night, Irene
D. Good Night, Gracie
E. See you later, alligator
F. Until tomorrow
G. Good night, Steve


5. You'll wonder where the yellow went,
A. When you use Tide
B. When you lose your crayons
C. When you clean your tub
D. If you paint the room blue
E. If you buy a soft water tank
F. When you use Lady Clairol
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent


6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend,
A. Stuart Whitman
B. Randolph Scott
C. Steve Reeves
D. Maynard G. Krebbs
E. Corky B. Dork
F. Dave the Whale
G. Zippy Zoo


7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar
B. Your nose is growing
C. Pants on fire
D. Join the choir
E Jump up higher
F. On the wire
G. I'm telling Mom


8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and...
A. Wheaties
B. Lois Lane
C. TV ratings
D. World peace
E. Red tights
F. The American way
G. News headlines


9 . Hey, kids, what time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear
B. It's time to do your homework
C. It's Howdy Doody Time
D. It's Time for Romper Room
E. It's bedtime
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour
G. Scoopy Doo Time


10. Lions and tigers and bears...
A. Yikes
B. Oh no
C. Gee whiz
D. I'm scared
E. Oh My
F. Help Help
G. Let's run


11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone
A. Over 40
B. Wearing a uniform
C. Carrying a briefcase
D. Over 30
E You don't know
F. Who says, 'Trust me'
G. Who eats tofu


12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings.
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Stauback
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway


13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on
B You'll smell great
C. Tame that cowlick
D. Greaseball heaven
E. It's a dream
F. We're your team
G. A little dab'll do ya


14. I found my thrill...
A. In Blueberry muffins
B. With my man, Bill
C. Down at the mill
D. Over the windowsill
E. With thyme and dill
F. Too late to enjoy
G. On Blueberry Hill


15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by
A. Clark Gable
B. Mary Martin
C. Doris Day
D. Errol Flynn
E. Sally Fields
F. Jim Carey
G. Jay Leno


16. Name the Beatles
A. John, Steve, George , Ringo
B. John, Paul, George , Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George , Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George , Ringo
F. Jason , Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George , Ringo


17. I wonder, wonder, wonder, who
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?


18. I'm strong to the finish
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach
C. Cause I lift weights
D. Cause I'm the hero
E. And don't you forget it
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
G. To outlast Bruto


19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today...
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera
B. Smile, you're on Star Search
C. Smile, you won the lottery
D. Smile, we're watching you
E. Smile, the world sees you
F . Smile, you're a hit
G. Smile, you're on TV


20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket
C. Make you fat
D. Melt your heart
E. Make you popular
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Come in color

Okay, that's it. Here are the right answers.
1 d - Wonder Bread

2 g - Cassius Clay

3 b - He Is Us

4 a - Good night, Chet

5 g - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6 d - Maynard G. Krebbs

7 c - Pants On Fire

8 f - The American Way

9 c - It's Howdy Doody Time

10 e - Oh My

11 d - Over 30

12 c - Joe Namath

13 g - A little dab'll do ya

14 g - On Blueberry Hill

15 b - Mary Martin

16 g - John, Paul, George , Ringo

17 d - Who wrote the book of Love

18 b - Cause I eats me spinach

19 a - Smile, you're on Candid Camera

20 f - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

It might help if you are over 50; this is no 'pushover'.

You must be a Redneck if.....

Redneck Bass Boat

Redneck Fishing

Redneck Fashion Tips From Your Husband

Redneck Gingerbread House

Redneck Guestrooms

Redneck Lawnmower

Redneck Pet Carrier

Redneck Version of WaterSking

Redneck Wedding Announcement

Redneck Wife Being Quoted in the Paper

Redneck Palm Pilot

Redneck Powerball Winner

Redneck Weather Station

Redneck Wedding Cake

Computer gender

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender (' la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computer should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won

The perfect man

A dear sweet friend of mine sent me a photo knowing that I was single of the perfect man. That was really nice of her. ;)
Here is a photo of the perfect man!!!!!





Did you really think there was one?????

A DAY AT THE BEACH

A DAY AT THE BEACH

For those who are stressed and need a break away from the day to day hustle and bustle.

How about a holiday at the beach in China?

The wonderful feel of sand between your toes

- wind in your hair

- enjoying the warm water

– and solitude

– What could be better!

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.' 'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?'

Sunday songs

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
From the pulpit he said, 'Today I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.
Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.'
The pastor shouted out, 'CROSS.'
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.'
The pastor hollered out, 'GRACE.'
The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, HOW SWEET THE SOUND'
The pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation
Sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'
The Pastor said, 'SEX'
The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at one-another, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'PRECIOUS MEMORIES.'

US Senator

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.' 'No problem, just let me in,' says the man. 'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.' 'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the senator. 'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.' And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster,caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator go es up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit heaven.' So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. 'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.' The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.' So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?' The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted.'

Fox News Photographer

His request approved, the photographer used a cell phone to call the
local airport to charter a flight.
He was told a twin engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted,
"Let's go".
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, "Fly over the
valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires
on the hillsides."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I'm a photographer for Fox Cable News," he responded.
"And I need to get some close up shots."
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered,
"So, what you're telling me, is . . you're NOT my flight instructor?"

Pearly gates with the women and men in line

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter the Pearly Gates, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were the true heads of their households, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their households, there was only one man.
God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the heads of your households! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."
God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

Having Tea With Daddy

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother
who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1-1/2 to 2 years old and had
just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among
other injuries.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys..
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother
was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea,'
which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came
home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy.
She watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the TOILET?''
Dad would never drink anymore of my tea.