Truisms

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.


I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.


God must love stupid people; He made so many.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?


Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.


I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.