Sunday's Funnies

LOT 'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy
looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly,
'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw
up.'

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark?'
'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.'


HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher
Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?'
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'


MOSES AND THE RED SEA

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday
School.
'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses on a mission to lead
the Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his
army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then
he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up
the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'
'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother asked
'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never
believe it!'


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of
the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters
a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task -
but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could
barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped
up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and
that's all I need to know.'


UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she
asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
messages.
'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.


BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'So your mother says your
prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?'
The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'


UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from
one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into
silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a
thing?'
Tommy answered, soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He
did!'


TIME TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
'Yes, sir,' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'


ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS

When my daughter, Kerri, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kerri would
say, 'And all girls.'
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My
curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kerri, why do you always
add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying
'All Men'!'


SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was
being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating
right away.
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do,' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before
eating at our house.'
'That's at our house,' Johnny explained, 'but this is Grandma's house and
she knows how to cook!'