One Per Point

We are out there this weekend celebrating and remembering our troops, family, friends and lets not forget the recent students who graduated. This one goes out to them for the hard work they have done over the years and now that they have graduated the Real work will begin soon. I hope you enjoy this one.

One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in.

The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next day the class was back, the professor handed the tests back out.

This student got back his test and $64 change.

Difference between men and women!!

I just cannot help myself but sometimes I just love the little jokes that point out the difference between men and women. Maybe it is a single thing and since I have been single for so long it has turned into me being snarly at times. :)) This is an updated version on the venus and mars thing. I hope you enjoy this one.

1. NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a
$20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on
sale.

4. BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that ... is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

10. DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing.

AND FINALLY...

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep,” the wife replied, "in-laws.

Did you know?

WHICH ARE TRUE OR FALSE???

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the

morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years.

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a

lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!

6. Only 7 percent of the population are lefties.

7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are

2-6 years old.

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13 A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search

for water.

18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning

their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a

Gentleman" and "Tootsie."

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white

paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane,

just in case there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can

for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from

women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th

cousins.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

Did you figure out which ones were true? The answer is all of them are true.