Senior Citizens Dress Code

Many of us 'Old Folks' (over 50) are quite confused today about how we should present ourselves. Feeling 'young' , we try to conform to current fashions and present a youthful image.
Contrary to what you may have seen on the streets, the following combination's DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spot
11. Mini skirts and varicose veins
And, Most importantly at some point you have to give up the 'DAISY DUKE' shorts

Senior Citizens

Hi ah,....

Hummm let me think ,...why did I post this......don't tell me it's coming to me.....
Oh ya.....

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.

HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement, or,
God out of government and school.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.

Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner? or O Canada


Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention, on veterans day and our great country's birthday .


YES, I'M ALMOST A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.
I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.



I'm not really grouchy,

I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Jenny Craig and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.......
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?
I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?

I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.


Yes, I'm almost a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

The Seniors Breakfast Special

Sometimes I think to myself, goodness I am getting old, being over 50 and my birthday coming up next month do I feel like a senior? LOL. Yes, some days my body screams at me, saying you aren't 25 anymore don't do that the body cannot take it. I then think to myself ok ok ok I know that I am getting old. Other days I do feel like a 25 year old in some of the things I do. This little gem of a joke makes me feel young again but on the other hand I like this womans attitude. When diet drinks first hit the market I use to always wonder how come the diet drinks were more expensive then the ones with sugar. I would think hey wait a minute these drinks don't have sugar in them so they should be cheaper then the ones with sugar. Right? No, they rip off the customer by claiming the process of taking out the sugar makes it more expensive. Then I think to myself, why put the sugar in it, in the first place? I think it is a conspiracy to always rake us over the coals, by always taking our money that we work so hard to earn. :) One day this lady will be a senior then all I have to say is watch out world here I come. :) Joke goes like this....

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast for $1.99
Sounds good, my wife said. But I don't want the eggs. Then I'll have to charge you $2.49 because then you are ordering a la carte, the waitress warned her.
You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs? My wife asked incredulously.
Yes!! Stated the waitress
I will take the special. My wife said.
How do you want your eggs? The waitress asked.
Raw and in the shell. My wife replied.
She took the two eggs home
Moral of the story is,
"DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!"
We've been around the block more than once.