Children's Perception!

Wouldn't it be great to be young again? The innocence of small children just brings a warm feeling and wonderful smile to my face. Kind of like this photo of my granddaughter trying to dress herself. She was so cute trying on her clothes and then ending up with the cutest mismatched clothes on. Oh to be young again...........

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up
and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the
shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!
That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed
by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't
come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the
women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room
burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running
for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,
I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and
down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" Yes," I answered
and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed
help I should ask the police. Is that right? "Yes, that's right," I told her.
"Well, then, "she said as she extended her foot toward me,
"would you please tie my shoe?"

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of
the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,
was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog
you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled,
the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said," What'd he do?"

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on
my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes,
walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned
and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning"

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our
minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his
collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates
had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be
performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers
and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought
his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto
the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother .
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
He picked-up the object, it was an old leaf that
had been pressed in between the pages "Mama,
look what I found," the boy called out. "What have
you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young
boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.