This is for everyone to have a safe and wonderful New Year. May we all be blessed with Love, Joy, and Prosperity. I leave 2007 with this........................
Monday, December 31, 2007
LIFE'S RULES
I love these!~
1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's
2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.
4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I
said, "Thyroid problem?"
5 I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up
really fast.
6. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
7. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
10. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
elected.
11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.
12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make
Bloody Marys.
13. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want to annoy for the rest of your life.
14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
15. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've stayed alive.
17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan
to attain world peace, and he told me I have"Schiffer Brains."
18. No one ever says "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery
tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're
on.
21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
22. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
23. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
24. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's
2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.
4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I
said, "Thyroid problem?"
5 I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up
really fast.
6. A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."
7. Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?
10. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
elected.
11. The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no
trade-in value.
12. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make
Bloody Marys.
13. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you
want to annoy for the rest of your life.
14. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.
15. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.
16. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've stayed alive.
17. That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan
to attain world peace, and he told me I have"Schiffer Brains."
18. No one ever says "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
19. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery
tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
20. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're
on.
21. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
22. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
23. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
24. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
25. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words:
"Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Casa D Ice Signs
It is
amazing how one person comes up with such great sayings. 
I cannot add to these great signs from "Casa D' Ice.
amazing how one person comes up with such great sayings. 
I cannot add to these great signs from "Casa D' Ice.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
TOP TEN THOUGHTS FOR 2008
TOP TEN THOUGHTS FOR 2008
Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
Of nothing.
Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax
Cut saves you $0.30?
Number 2. In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
Is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow'.
Number 10. Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6. Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
Of nothing.
Number 4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
Number 3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax
Cut saves you $0.30?
Number 2. In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
Is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007:
'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow'.
Italians and holy water
Italians and holy water!
Once upon a time there were four older ladies that lived in Italy....
They always sat outside and chatted about when they were younger....
One day they pooled their money together and bought a laptop computer...
They always wanted to see what Florida was about and they just happened to click on St. Augustine, FL.
and they read about the "Fountain of Youth" that was there...They saved up all they could and sent for four bottles of the magic water....
As soon as it arrived, they drank as much as they could....The rest of this story will make you a believer because here they are today....No, this is really TRUE! Really!
I have a supply of this water available at $125.00 a bottle,
HURRY BEFORE INVENTORY RUNS OUT.
NEXT SHIPMENT WILL COST MORE!! You know I wouldn't lie to you.
Once upon a time there were four older ladies that lived in Italy....
They always sat outside and chatted about when they were younger....
One day they pooled their money together and bought a laptop computer...
They always wanted to see what Florida was about and they just happened to click on St. Augustine, FL.
and they read about the "Fountain of Youth" that was there...They saved up all they could and sent for four bottles of the magic water....
As soon as it arrived, they drank as much as they could....The rest of this story will make you a believer because here they are today....No, this is really TRUE! Really!
I have a supply of this water available at $125.00 a bottle,
HURRY BEFORE INVENTORY RUNS OUT.
NEXT SHIPMENT WILL COST MORE!! You know I wouldn't lie to you.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Two sisters
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need
to purchase a bull from the stockyard in Ft Worth so they can
breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and
haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought
a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her,
then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word".
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1.00 left. She
realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a
few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word 'comfortable'".
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that
you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out
here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the
word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big.
She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need
to purchase a bull from the stockyard in Ft Worth so they can
breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and
haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought
a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her,
then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word".
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1.00 left. She
realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a
few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word 'comfortable'".
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that
you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out
here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the
word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big.
She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Twas the day after Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand; The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penney's and Sears Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's--all here!!
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall, Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work. He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road, Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer, "ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"
Author Unknown
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead; Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans, Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand; The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came. Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penney's and Sears Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's--all here!!
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall, Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work. He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road, Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer, "ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"
Author Unknown
Friday, December 21, 2007
Hillary Clinton Fan
A teacher in a small Vermont town asks her class how many of them are Hillary Clinton fans.
Not really knowing what a Hillary Clinton fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy.
The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, “I’m not a Hillary Clinton fan.” The teacher asks, “Why aren’t you a Hillary Clinton fan?” Johnny says “I’m a George Bush fan.” The teacher asks why he’s a George Bush fan. The boy says, “Well, my mom’s a George Bush fan and my dad is a George Bush fan, so I’m a George Bush fan!” The teacher is kind of angry, because this IS Vermont, so she asks, “What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?” Johnny says, “That would make me a Hillary Clinton
fan”
Not really knowing what a Hillary Clinton fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy.
The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, “I’m not a Hillary Clinton fan.” The teacher asks, “Why aren’t you a Hillary Clinton fan?” Johnny says “I’m a George Bush fan.” The teacher asks why he’s a George Bush fan. The boy says, “Well, my mom’s a George Bush fan and my dad is a George Bush fan, so I’m a George Bush fan!” The teacher is kind of angry, because this IS Vermont, so she asks, “What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?” Johnny says, “That would make me a Hillary Clinton
fan”
Thursday, December 20, 2007
The reason dogs are great
The reason a
dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his
tongue.
There is no
psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben
Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth
that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
The average
dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy
Rooney
Dogs love
their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are
incapable of pure love & always have to mix love &
hate.
-Anonymous
Anybody who
doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a
dog.
-Franklin P.
Jones
If your dog is
fat, you aren't getting enough exercise
.
-Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy
because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog
money.
-Joe Weinstein
Women and cats will do as they
please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the
idea.
-Robert A.
Heinlein
If you pick up
a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the
principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark
Twain
Dogs are not
our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger
Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try
putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of
them.
-Phil
Pastoret
tongue.
There is no
psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben
Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth
that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
The average
dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy
Rooney
Dogs love
their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are
incapable of pure love & always have to mix love &
hate.
-Anonymous
Anybody who
doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a
dog.
-Franklin P.
Jones
If your dog is
fat, you aren't getting enough exercise
.
-Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy
because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog
money.
-Joe Weinstein
Women and cats will do as they
please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the
idea.
-Robert A.
Heinlein
If you pick up
a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the
principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark
Twain
Dogs are not
our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger
Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try
putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of
them.
-Phil
Pastoret
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Six reasons why you should have a camera phone
Six reasons why you should have a camera phone.
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with them.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Interesting signs
Did I read it right???
Just in case Batman forgets?
Hmmm... Decisions, decisions!
Well, thank goodness!!! Up until now, only 36% of women have been able to find this.
Excuse me???
Interesting marketing angle!
Then, how should I get in???
Maybe the exit?
Hope the emergency's not too urgent!
Sounds tasty doesn't it?
What???
And you thought that particular
personality trait wouldn't look
good on your resume...
Hygiene is important.
It's a man's dream come true.
McDeath?
Geez, not even an emergency phone?
To calm those stressed rabbits.
NO! The other right!
Oops, not secret anymore!!
Another dream come true...
A fine example of rocket science.
Just in case Batman forgets?
Hmmm... Decisions, decisions!
Well, thank goodness!!! Up until now, only 36% of women have been able to find this.
Excuse me???
Interesting marketing angle!
Then, how should I get in???
Maybe the exit?
Hope the emergency's not too urgent!
Sounds tasty doesn't it?
What???
And you thought that particular
personality trait wouldn't look
good on your resume...
Hygiene is important.
It's a man's dream come true.
McDeath?
Geez, not even an emergency phone?
To calm those stressed rabbits.
NO! The other right!
Oops, not secret anymore!!
Another dream come true...
A fine example of rocket science.
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