Don’t Close the Blinds

The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war. My husband looked at our son and then looked at me. My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today. I knew that my husband would give
him a good explanation.
My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window. He told him: “Son, stand there and tell me what you see?”
“I see trees and cars and our neighbor’s houses.” he replied.
“OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United States of America and you are President Bush.”
Our son giggled and said “OK.”
“Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country” my husband said.
“OK Dad, I’m pretending.”
“Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and see that man come out of his house with his wife and he has her by the hair and is hitting her. You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death. Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are crying,
they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and afraid of their father. You see all of this son…. what do you do?”
“Dad?”
“What do you do son?”
“I call the police, Dad.”
“OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations and they take your call, listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help. What do you do then son?”
“Dad, but the police are supposed to help!” My son starts to whine.
“They don’t want to son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it,” my husband says.
“But Dad…he killed her!!” my son exclaims.
“I know he did…but the police tell you to stay out of it. Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you’re pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children.”
“Daddy…he kills them?”
“Yes son, he does. What do you do?”
“Well, if the police don’t want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him.” our son says.
“Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him,” my husband says.
“But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can’t stop him by myself!!”
“WHAT DO YOU DO SON?” Our son starts to cry.
“OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him. He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next son?” “What Daddy?”
“He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then…he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in he window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?”
“Daddy…”
“WHAT DO YOU DO?”
Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers, “I close the blinds, Daddy.”
My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him… “Why?”
“Because Daddy…..the police are supposed to
help…people who need it….and they won’t help….You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won’t help either…they won’t help me stop him…I’m afraid….I can’t do it by myself ..Daddy…..I
can’t look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and…and…..do nothing so I’m just going to close the blinds….so I can’t see what he’s doing……..and I’m going to pretend that it is not happening.”
I start to cry.
My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husbands questions and he tells him….”Son”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Open the blinds because that man…. he’s at your front door…”WHAT DO YOU DO?”
My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes. He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says: “I DEFEND MY FAMILY DAD!! I’M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD!!! I’M GONNA
FIGHT HIM, DAD, I’M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!”
I see a tear roll down my husband’s cheek and he grabs my son to his chest and hugs him tight, and cries…”It’s too late to fight him, he’s too strong and he’s already at YOUR front door son…..you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife. You have to do what’s right, even if you have to do it alone, before it’s too late.” my husband whispers.
THAT scenario is why we are at war with Iraq. When good men stand by and let evil happen is the greatest evil of all. Our President is doing what is right. We, as a free nation, must understand that this war is a war of humanity. WE must remove evil men from power so that we can continue to live in a free world where we are not afraid to look out our window. So that my nine year old son won’t grow up in a world where he feels that if he just “closes” that blinds the atrocities in the world won’t affect him.

The moral of the story is to learn in your heart not act on it, which is what I am trying to get across.
“YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT
IS RIGHT! EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!
H/T and credit goes to http://irmasrantsraves.blogspot.com/ the author of this story. I also wanted to say about this story, I was trying to point out the moral of the story not to go and act on the story.

Don't run with a fork

Never run with a fork. Here is one of those life lessons that some learn at the school of hard knocks.

This is a one word post, OUCH..................................

WHAT SMELLS

Maxine took her car to her mechanic.

She told him "Every time I
Take any of my friends out in my car,
After a while there is this terrible smell!! .
It never happens when I am driving alone"??
This intrigued the mechanic, so he said,
"OK, lets go for a spin
And see what the problem is." Off they went.
She drove down a one-way street in the wrong direction
At 70 MPH, swerving,
Hitting the curb on both sides of the street,
Narrowly missed three pedestrians in
Pedestrian crossings,
Ran several red lights,
And just missed a
Policeman on street traffic duty.
Then, they returned to the shop, and she said,
"There it is now...
there's that terrible smell! Can you smell it?"
"Smell it?
Lady, I'm sittin' in it!!"

New "You must be a Redneck" list

Just ask for the

' West Virginia CUT'
Yes, the new one is out! Brand new edition of... 'You know you're a redneck when......”
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it
5. You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench .
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16.. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean ?
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

A NOTE to D.U.M.B. DRIVERS

A NOTE to D.U.M.B. DRIVERS

An apology is in order, so, please, forgive me. It was not until this morning on my ride to work that I fully understood I was in error.
Yes, I’ve noticed that there are many very busy and important people on the roads. You all are hard to miss with the cell phones, laptops, breakfast bars, coffee, cigarettes and all, but until now, I didn’t realize I was causing so much trouble for you busy, multitasking drivers.
I figured it out this morning, thanks to the nice lady working on the laptop who needed the lane I was in.
First, ma’am, let me say that when I honked at you from the shoulder, I didn’t mean to startle you. My intent was just to give you a little beep to let you know the lane was all yours. But I was braking so hard, I couldn’t lift my thumb off the horn button.
My bad.
I surely didn’t mean to cause you to nearly hit the guy talking on the cell phone. You know, he was smoking and talking as he moved his SUV right into the space you had just left.
Anyway, the good news is, that’s when I realized all of you multitasking drivers must be texting each other about intended lane changes and running traffic lights and stop signs and such. I’m sorry - I’m still using old-fashioned blinkers. I didn’t realize you needed some time to e-notify that guy that you needed the lane back.
I really messed it up for both of you!
I can only say that the guard rail was a little distracting, and I was only thinking about myself. I’ll try harder next time.
Like I said, I didn’t know that was how you multitasking drivers were communicating. It must have been in an e-mail, but my laptop fell off my tank and I haven’t replaced it.
However, I have a solution.
I know many of you are so busy and important that you have no choice - you have to eat, work, talk, read and do lots of other really important things as you drive.
Those of us who use the road only for traveling would be happy to stay out of your way; we just need to know you’re coming.
A little visual clue would help - I was thinking of a bumper sticker. That way, everyone could identify you as Drivers Utilizing Multiple Behaviors.
Of course, that’s a little long, so we’d cut it down to an acronym - DUMB.
If you’d place stickers on the front, back and maybe the sides of your car, the rest of us would know not to interfere with you on the road.
I think it’s such a good idea, I’ll pay for the bumper stickers and even put them on for you.
Deal?
Again, I’m sorry I got in your way. I’ll try harder to see you coming from now on.
I promise!”

35th wedding

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 35th wedding
anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying,
"For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to
each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." "Oh, I
want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the
wife.
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the
Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic,
but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my
love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a
wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92
years old.
The moral of this story:
Men who are ungrateful bastXXrds should remember fairies are female.

Pocket Taser Stun Gun

They say laughter helps keep you young. This is one of those stories
where you begin to chuckle .... then find yourself laughing out loud.
It brought tears to my eye's. Who comes to your mind while reading
this...very funny... Enjoy!!!!
Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased
his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked
my interest.
The occasion was our 15th anniversary
and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.
What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser.

The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived,
with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her
adequate time to retreat to safety? 'WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it
home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get
the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on
the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I
really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second)
and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going
to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did
want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one
hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient
your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms
and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of
water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
batteries.? ? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring
about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really
and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself,
"no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one- second burst
from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided
to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the
prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD,
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me
up in the recliner , then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears
in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to
be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position,
and tingling in my legs?
The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard
before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again,
stupid, do it again!"
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one
note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you
zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand
by a violent thrashing about on the floor.
A three-second burst would be considered conservative?
SON-OF-A-... That hurt like **% !!! A minute or so later (I can't be
sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits
(what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent
reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up
there? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face
felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed
88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a significant reward
for their safe return!! Still in shock!
P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
"If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid."

The outhouse

This Yankee from New York was hiking through the mountains of northern Georgia when he came upon the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life. Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door. "Anybody home?" he asked.
"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.
"Is your father there?" asked the tourist.
"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.
"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the tourist.
"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.
"But," protested the Yankee, "are you never together as a family?"
"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse!"

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

Men Are Just Happier People--



Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Black and White

Black and White

(Under age 40? You won't understand.)


You could hardly see for all the snow,

Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.

Pull a chair up to the TV set,

"Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."



My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in icepack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE.. and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym)
instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.

Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked there and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.

I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?
We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA, AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T- SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED. I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING

20 comments made in the year 1955

To think this is the year I was born. I can remember stories from my dad that sounded like he took some of these lines to put them in his stories. Makes me wonder what the list would look like if it had the year 2005 instead of 1955. :)

20 comments made in the year 1955! That's only 52 years ago!

1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00."

2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2, 000.00 will only buy a used one."

3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.

4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

5) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

6) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

7) "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

8) "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it."

9) "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

10) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President."

11) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

12) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

13) "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

14) "Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

15) "I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

16) "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

17) "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

18) "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel."

19) "No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood."

20) "If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

Softball and heaven

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day. One day Barb said, "Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played in all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there."

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed, "Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you."

Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, "Barb, Barb."

"Who is it?" asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Barb -- it's me, Rose."

"You're not Rose. Rose just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Rose," insisted the voice.

"Rose! Where are you?"

"In Heaven," replied Rose "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Barb.

"The good news," Rose said, "is that there's softball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.."

"That's fantastic," said Barb.. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching Tuesday."

MY LIVING WILL

MY LIVING WILL
Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said
to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no
quality of life at all, If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.
Can you believe that??? She's such a female dog.

Funny Moments

THIS IS WHAT SAD LOOKS LIKE

BAD SPELLING BY A GOVERNMENT WORKER

BAD JUDGMENT

SHOCKING ACCIDENT

POLICE HARD AT WORK

McBURNT

I'D RATHER HOLD IT

PILE UP

THIS IS GOING TO HURT

LET ME EXPLAIN

FIRE RAINBOW

THIS IS A FIRE RAINBOW - THE RAREST OF ALL NATURALLY OCCURRING ATMOSPHERIC PHENOMENA.

THE PICTURE WAS CAPTURED ON THE IDAHO/WASHINGTON BORDER. THE EVENT LASTED ABOUT 1 HOUR.

CLOUDS HAVE TO BE CIRRUS, AT LEAST 20K FEET IN THE AIR, WITH JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF ICE CRYSTALS AND THE SUN HAS TO HIT THE CLOUDS AT PRECISELY 58 DEGREES.

Those born from 1920 to 1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while
they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and
didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby
cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and
when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster
seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special
treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE
actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made
with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we
were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride
down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at
all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live
in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with
sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or
rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who
didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem
solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow
up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how
brave (and lucky) their parents were.
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go ahead and delete this.

Garfield on the oil crisis

Garfield on the oil crisis

A lot of folks can't understand how we came
to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical .
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
and
Texas
~~~
Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington , DC !!!
Any Questions ???
NO? I didn't Think So.

Hellary 2008

I’m sure this one will warm your little taxpayer heart. If Hillary wins in 2008 and Bill is ‘appointed’ to fill her Senate seat and either live to retire ‘they’ (together or alone) would get two US Presidential retirement checks, two US Senate retirement checks, and a retirement check from the State of Arkansas. About the only thing they MIGHT NOT get is a Social Security check….but I wouldn’t bet on it…. I understand Bill has earned $40,000,000 in the past six years. What a guy! AND THE REST OF THE STORY… Hilarious Rotten Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the ‘Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan,’ which means that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congressional salary until she dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4 years?) If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that? It’s common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency, they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua, New York. Makes sense! They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense. Here is where it becomes interesting. Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month. BUT, an extra residence ‘had’ to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents. The Clinton’s charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of that extra residence, which is about equal to their mortgage payment. This means that we, the taxpayers, are paying the Clinton’s salary, mortgage, transportation, safety and security, as well as the salaries for their 12 man staff — and, this is all perfectly legal! As she runs for President, will YOU vote for her?

A TEST FOR OLD KIDS

This one is a test for the older kids. People like me, unlike my daughter she would know maybe 2 or 3. ;) The answers are printed below, but don't cheat.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the
grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably,
someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he
leave behind?________________

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched
them on The _______________ Show.

03. "Get your kicks, ___________________."

04. "The story you are about to see is true. The names have been
changed___________________."

05. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________."

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced" under
a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the?
"_____________."

07. "N_E_S_T_L_E_S", Nestle's makes the very best....... _______________."

08. Satchmo was America 's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared
this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red
always ended his television show by saying, "Good Night, and "________
________".

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning
their______________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in t he
front was called the VW ? What other names did it go by? ____________
&_______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "the day the music
died."This was a tribute to? ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians
did it. It was calle d ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring
that we twirled around our waist. It was called the? ________________. !


ANSWERS:

01 The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan Show
03. On Route 66
04. To protect the innocent.
05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06. The limbo
07. Chocolate
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch
10. Freddy, The Freeloader,and "Good Night,and may God Bless."
11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned.)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. Sputnik
15. Hoola-hoop

RIDDLES

RIDDLES

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and " aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!

Working on the job

Sometimes a photo explains everything. :)

The Blonde and the Pink Curtains

A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman,

"I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, "fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman.
"That sounds very small. What room are they for?"
The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room; they are for her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "but Miss, computers do not need curtains!"
The blonde says,
"Hellllooooooooo. I've got Windoooooows!

A Dogs Purpose from a 6-year-old

It is 2008 and God has given us a clean chalkboard and a New Year to get closer to Him if we chose. It also reminds me of a story I received from a friend of mine which I thought was just right for the New Year. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and that 2008 brings Love, Joy, and Prosperity to you, your family and friends.

A Dog's Purpose, (from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle
them gently.
Being always grateful for each new day and for the blessing you have.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!
That's what dogs teach us...