A NOTE to D.U.M.B. DRIVERS

A NOTE to D.U.M.B. DRIVERS

An apology is in order, so, please, forgive me. It was not until this morning on my ride to work that I fully understood I was in error.
Yes, I’ve noticed that there are many very busy and important people on the roads. You all are hard to miss with the cell phones, laptops, breakfast bars, coffee, cigarettes and all, but until now, I didn’t realize I was causing so much trouble for you busy, multitasking drivers.
I figured it out this morning, thanks to the nice lady working on the laptop who needed the lane I was in.
First, ma’am, let me say that when I honked at you from the shoulder, I didn’t mean to startle you. My intent was just to give you a little beep to let you know the lane was all yours. But I was braking so hard, I couldn’t lift my thumb off the horn button.
My bad.
I surely didn’t mean to cause you to nearly hit the guy talking on the cell phone. You know, he was smoking and talking as he moved his SUV right into the space you had just left.
Anyway, the good news is, that’s when I realized all of you multitasking drivers must be texting each other about intended lane changes and running traffic lights and stop signs and such. I’m sorry - I’m still using old-fashioned blinkers. I didn’t realize you needed some time to e-notify that guy that you needed the lane back.
I really messed it up for both of you!
I can only say that the guard rail was a little distracting, and I was only thinking about myself. I’ll try harder next time.
Like I said, I didn’t know that was how you multitasking drivers were communicating. It must have been in an e-mail, but my laptop fell off my tank and I haven’t replaced it.
However, I have a solution.
I know many of you are so busy and important that you have no choice - you have to eat, work, talk, read and do lots of other really important things as you drive.
Those of us who use the road only for traveling would be happy to stay out of your way; we just need to know you’re coming.
A little visual clue would help - I was thinking of a bumper sticker. That way, everyone could identify you as Drivers Utilizing Multiple Behaviors.
Of course, that’s a little long, so we’d cut it down to an acronym - DUMB.
If you’d place stickers on the front, back and maybe the sides of your car, the rest of us would know not to interfere with you on the road.
I think it’s such a good idea, I’ll pay for the bumper stickers and even put them on for you.
Deal?
Again, I’m sorry I got in your way. I’ll try harder to see you coming from now on.
I promise!”