It is kind of funny that I have been posting stories and jokes about getting old. Maybe it is because my granddaughter is turning four on Fathers day this year and I am having so much fun with her lately that I feel really young. :) Here goes another post about being old. I hope you enjoy some of these. I know I did and put a smile on my face for the day.
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're it.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
Thoughts for the weekend
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
But Most Of All, Remember ...
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!
Ponderisms
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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2 comments:
Boy! You've been busy these past couple of days, Sandra! I'm only now just catching up with blogs. My week was filled with interruptions...good ones...not bad...so I'm behind the eight-ball a bit!
Hope all is well with you over your way...it is here with me. Winter finally hit with a huge bang yesterday...which is good...I love our winters here...and it's nice to rug up in winter clothes for a change. Take care. :)
Yep I was wondering how things were going with you and noticing that you were busy over at the other blog. I am glad someone has cool weather. I love getting out the warm sweaters at winter time here. Stay warm and I will try to keep up with my reading on what you are writing. I am little concerned about neocon and nancy drew I haven't heard from them yet. I have left two messages with neocon. Maybe Wino can update us on what the girls are doing. He keeps in touch with Nancy Drew I think.
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